Leguizamo Gets Spike-d

In my Friday 4/18 article about TNN cable network's conversion to Spike later this year, I neglected to mention their animation plans, but here's some great new news on that front. The immensely talented John Leguizamo is creating Zilch & Zero, a Flash animated series centering around two obsessed guys who work in a movie rental store, for the soon-to-be guy-centric nework. Along with Stripperella (with Pamela Anderson), Gary the Rat (with Kelsey Grammer) and new Ren & Stimpy episodes, Zilch & Zero will eventually be a part of Spike's Wednesday night animation block which begins in June.

Anybody who has enjoyed Leguizamo's work -- from parents who watched Ice Age with their kids, to audiences enthralled by his one-man shows like Freak and Sexaholic (seen on TV on HBO), to fans of his work in movies like Moulin Rouge -- should be looking forward to this new venture. Blessed with prodigious comic talent, an uncanny ability to truly inhabit his characters, and more than just a touch of true performing genius, Leguizamo could make Zilch & Zero a real treat. Kudos to Spike for latching onto Leguizamo!

 
I Don’t Brake for Automobile Poetry

Maybe it’s just me, but wow, I get a big headache every time I hear James Garner’s warm and familiar voice reading those awful little Chevy Tahoe poems. Okay, I understand that Chevrolet has to do anything it can to convince urban wannabe pioneers to purchase more car than they could possibly need to ferry the kids to daycare, but surely throwing this verse out there is cruel and unusual advertisement.

I know you’ve heard them – one ends with “…and nobody knows it but me” – and if it brings anything to mind it’s probably “See Jane Run” or some other kiddie book you read when you were about five. I mean, this stuff is bad…hilariously bad, laughably simplistic and just plain lame to the max. And it’s probably selling cars, god forbid.

Hey, what I really resent is Chevy co-opting the brilliant neurosurgeon-rock star-physicist Buckaroo Banzai. One of Chevrolet’s masterpieces contains the line “And wherever you’re going that’s where you are,” clearly a direct rip-off of Buckaroo’s sage counsel “No matter where you go, there you are,” made famous in the terrific 1984 cult classic movie The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension starring Peter Weller. Do what you must to sell over-powered SUVs, Chevrolet, but leave Buckaroo out of it, please.

To top it off, on their website Chevy calls this crap “stirring words,” and obviously they’ve gotten plenty of requests for transcripts. I sure hope that it’s three-year-olds writing in, because if grown-ups are doing it, America’s in a lot more trouble than I thought. And (sometimes it seems like) nobody knows it but me....

Okay, for those of you who want to check out this doggerel in printed form, visit the Chevrolet Tahoe website. Read it and weep.

And if you’re a Buckaroo Banzai fan, or want to know what the heck I’m talking about, take a look at the clever and immensely entertaining website for the Banzai Institute.

 
Female Trouble

Discovery Health Channel has a triple dose of estrogen-fueled issues tonight, starting at 8pm with Medical Secrets and an episode on Marilyn Monroe. If you haven't caught this interesting series, it's basically a celebrity portrait focusing on medical situations -- usually bad ones, naturally -- that played a major role in the star's life. For instance, they covered Carrie Fisher's struggle with manic-depression and drug dependency; it was great, bringing me, at least, to a greater appreciation for her as a woman with some unique crosses to bear, and I usually can't stand her. And there was a fairly hard-hitting hour on Larry Hagman's struggle with alcohol which also went where most showbiz bios seldom tread. This isn't E True Hollywood Story stuff, even though Medical Secrets does have a certain amount of gossipy content (making it easier for the casual viewer to sample and watch...which is what it's all about, of course). But MS also presents an unvarnished and much more honest than usual look at undeniably privileged folk who, even though they can obviously afford the best and certainly get more access, attention and second chances than the average man on the street, still may fall prey to the same demons as the rest of us. As celebrities they certainly don't deserve any kind of elevated respect, but as human beings undergoing stressful situations, empathy is in order.

At 9pm, the always fascinating Diagnosis: Unknown series -- the chronicle of what it takes to unravel medical mysteries in the field of public health -- reruns an episode about Toxic Shock Syndrome, the deadly disease that was eventually traced to tampon use. Pretty scary stuff, and those of us old enough to vividly recall this crisis certainly remember how unpleasant a thought it was to contemplate the rest of our menstruating lives sans tampons. Thank goodness it never came to that, but it's a fascinating story and this show is a great example of how real life is so much more compelling than the Hollywood version of medicine.

And though Berman & Berman: For Women Only, starring the sister duo who dispense gynecological and psychological advice, have had their show reduced from five a week to just two on Wednesday and Thursdays at 10pm (with encores at 1am), they are delightful, informative and very accessible. They don't mince words when discussing the intricacies of female plumbing, but also have a cute sisterly dynamic that keeps things light and appealing. I think they're adorable, and though they obviously know everything there is to know about what it means to be a woman, they don't put themselves above the audience in any way and provide a safe place for women to learn. I could never believe how they managed to crank out five superior hours of week of their show, and I hope this reduction in airings isn't a harbinger of cancellation. The Sisters Berman put Dr. Ruth and Oxygen's Sue Johanson to shame, though I really do like Sue's eccentric delivery and ultra-Canadian demeanor. All these gals deserve to get an audience, so try them all out.

Take a look at Discovery Health Channel's website for more information on Medical Mysteries, Diagnosis:Unknown and Berman & Berman, along with all their other programming. Discovery Health is a wonderful channel, and to their huge credit, are one of the dwindling number of networks who don't run Paid Programming in the wee (or not so wee) hours of the morning. Congrats to them for staving off the ravages of Direct Response Advertising!